2013-12-05 / Columns

Along These Lines

Dog Versus Cat

After centuries of debate, still no agreement has been reached. Do dogs or cats make the better pet? Which are the most affectionate? Intelligent? Here is a collection of observations which may (or may not) help you decide:

•If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer – Alfred North Whitehead

•Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow – Jeff Valdez

•Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you – Mary Bly

•No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens – Abraham Lincoln

•The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it – Doug Larson

•Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God – Unknown

•I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals – Winston Churchill

•Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this – Unknown

•You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog – Harry S. Truman

•Most cats, when they are out want to be in, and vice versa, and often simultaneously – Louis J. Camuti

•To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs – Aldous Huxley

•Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience – Pam Brown

•I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves – August Strindberg

•Never sit with a cat on your lap when your wife turns on the vacuum cleaner – Jon Small

•Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant – Unknown

•Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls – Phyllis Diller

•I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days – Bill Dana

•People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life – Faith Resnick

•Dogs do not use older computers. They can’t stick their heads out of Windows XP – Unknown

•They say the dog is man’s best friend. I don’t believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered? – Larry Reeb

•A cat isn’t fussy, just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor – Arthur Bridges

•I have a great dog. She’s half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she’ll bring it back to me – Jimi Celeste

•Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea – Robert A. Heinlein

•Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat – Lillian Johnson

•If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them – Phil Pastoret

•Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window! – Steve Bluestone

•Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want – Joseph Wood Krutch

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